Thursday, April 2, 2020

Before a Resurrection

Death is on everything,
It lurks in a neighbor's breadth,
Yet the sun still shines,
And Spring brings new life:
A resurrection.

By K. S. Buck

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Springtime Blues

Just when you thought things were going to be okay
A glass drops
Thousands of tiny shards blanket the floor
You'll never pick everything up
How many will bleed from this
Will the shards disappear?
Everyday someone bleeds
Fear and panic set in
Tired of looking down you decide to look up
Up, up to the crucifix

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Broken

Where is a broken woman to go
Into the arms of another man
I say throw yourself at the foot of the Cross
Your pain is not a punishment, but an invitation
In time your cross will cease to inflict pain

Monday, March 30, 2020

Telling Mother

With our heads down, we tell mother
The pearl necklace is broken
The pearl necklace she wears to mass each Sunday
The pearl necklace that was going to be passed down to the first if us to get married.
What will happen to us?
We were not trying to hurt her
We just wanted to play
Ours face was one of disappointment and tenderness
She pulled us into her arms and whispered
You two are my most precious jewels.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

Looking East

Look to the east and you will find me
You of little faith think all has been lost
The world is dying
Humanity will collapse
The surviving few will become savages
Look east
Homes are prison
Livelihoods are being lost
Abuse on the rise
Look East
Loneliness engulfs
A gun with a bullet sits on the bedside table
Is today the day?
Look east
The pregnant woman in her hour
No room for her and her baby
Deliver at home, we are needed elsewhere
Good luck, love
Look east, look east
When all things seem lost

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Easter Mass

No mass on the Resurrection
I won't see another
My lungs ache with each breadth
The nurse armed with a mask and gloves changes the channel
Ah mass online
It ain't the same
I used to hear the children laughing and playing
Got so noisy, I'd tell them to hush up
What I wouldn't give to hear the ruckus again 
Today is seems as if the whole world is telling us to hush up

Friday, March 27, 2020

The Lady

Armed, we were ready to kill each other
Nothing personal
Just following orders
In battle numbness consumed and only one thought took over
Kill or be killed
I saw him
With my rifle raised I was about to take him out
But the bright light
With my fingers splayed across my face I looked at that light
It was lady, beautiful, haunting
She had a calmness and a motherly beauty you only read about.
Her hand reached out as if to hold us
The killing stopped that day
Many walked away from battle
At least I did
Now everyday I seek that lady

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Girl Knitting

Outside the world is in chaos
Every fifth person dead
People scrubbing germs away in the hopes of fighting off the beast
Unemployment, abuse, alcohol
If you are looking for a career, choose mental health
We're all going to need it
The crimes haven't started yet
Yet
Breathing is our only job
In a small corner, shut off from fear a girl knits

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Beauty in the Gutters

At my lowest, I thought only of what I didn't have
Husband
Money
Job
Home
Love
Then staring at the gutter I saw something
A white rose that had been dipped in pink
The stem was broken, and the rose had been stepped on, but the beauty remained
Beside the rose was a medal with a lady on it
I picked up the medal hope it would bring me luck
No not luck, a miracle

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Gathering Snowdrops

What is so innocent now was quite naughty back then
Three little girls all age seven snuck out of the house while on lockdown
They met at a field by the lake
There were giggles, stories, jokes, and wishes
They picked little white flowers they named snowdrops
And dreamed of a happier time.


Monday, March 23, 2020

St Micheal

I dug a hole in which to place a shrine of St Micheal
The history here is something I know nothing of
I found a piece of paper, parchment really

They're coming
The wind howls
We stand outside ready to fight for what is ours
Outnumbered doesn't begin to describe out sad state
Voices in our head
Give up
Temptation is great
All we have now is faith and hope

I think of these men with swords
Ready to die for what was theirs
In my tender years of schooling
I thought of a simple time
A friend of mine took something from me
I was so afraid of raised voices that I said nothing
Compared to these I am a coward

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Mass Online

With coffee in hand I turn on YouTube
Father is live streaming mass
I am hardly dressed for it
Hair in a messy bun, pajamas, and worse yet, coffee
I try to do the responses, but find it difficult
Kneeling during consecration, the air feels stale
Where is the incense?
The bells?
The beautiful faces
How I miss mass
When will I be able to come to your house, Lord?

Kneeling Before the Queen

Eyes closed
Praying hands
I try to focus on the rosary
My mind wanders
Will Charles come calling today?
Will the new cook burn my food?
Will Father's heart ever heal?
Over and over these simple thoughts plague my mind
Fast and slow, I finish the rosary
Barely remembering the mysteries
Maybe I'll get it right tomorrow
Maybe

Friday, March 20, 2020

Sailor

For months I waited by the docks
Each day I knitted five stitches, a homecoming gift
When we finally met, those five stitches turned into a handsome scarf
I wrapped it around your neck as you ordered a beer
You spent all that time with those men
And tonight you seem quite bored of me
A woman you've never seen comes into the tavern
I watch how your eyes follow her
You get up and play the piano for her
As I fade into the background

Masterpiece

My husband beams with pride
His wife got noticed for her work, no need for a microphone, his voice can be heard all over
Shame is all I feel
Mediocrity has no place in the world
Words are cheap, pointless
My daughter begs for strawberries
I'd rather be someplace like a gallery
I want to paint
My brain doesn't talk to my hand
Each year the walls get thicker
At five, my daughter emerges as an artist
Her stories in color
She is her father's daughter
I only gave birth to her
Ashes mark me as dust for all to see
Leaving pieces of myself on pavement
I discover my daughter is the masterpiece

New Baby

My baby was born today
The birth too difficult for mother and child
Jesus took the baby
There was no time for a baptism
Baby came so early
No time to get to the hospital
Blood stains won't cone out
Above our baby's grave is a small statue of Mary
All we could afford
Everyday my wife went to the grave and put out fresh flowers
Now it's just me
Praying to Mother Mary for my beautiful wife and child to enter the kingdom

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

St Lawrence

My first big meal
How are you going to handle it?
I was asked that by no less than fifteen people, the exact number I must feed
I'm not concerned
It'll all work out
It always does in the end
A week was spent buying ingredients
Only one cookbook was opened
Now the big day
I look at the shrine of St Lawrence
It's been passed down for generations
I cross myself before turning on the oven and stove


Monday, March 16, 2020

Merciful Knight

My king, how I have offended there
I live by the sword
But, no more
Tonight I lay down my weapon
And accept the cross you offer me

Sunday, March 15, 2020

The Walk

We walk hand in hand
Others follow close behind
Apart we are like fallen leaves
The slightest breeze will blow us about
Hand in hand we walk
The only thing in front of us is a casket
Where our son sleeps
And the Madonna on the road weeps

Saint Therese

When I was very young
Smaller than five
I would visit my grandparent's big white house
My thoughts turn to memories of running in circles and sleeping on front porches
Fireflies came to dance with us in the moonlight
Then the sickness
What once smelled of roses now smells of ammonia
My germs were to much for my grandmother, so I stayed away
To help me deal with the sadness, Grandpa built a small house in the front yard
There he placed a large statue of Saint Therese holding a bouquet of roses
Roses, grandmother's favorite
While Grandpa work, I changed
Little flower at this hour, show your power
Over and over again
Five months after Saint Therese moved into the yard, Grandmother died
Grandpa sold the house
Saint Therese stayed
Every now and then I pass by the house and each time I pray
Little flower at this hour, show your power






Saturday, March 14, 2020

Mending

Hail Mary, full of grace...
I pray 50 of these
While I sit here and mend socks and sweaters
My family thinks it silly and old fashioned
The simple mending makes me think of Mary
This is our time together
Mother and daughter
That's why I mend

Homecoming

427
That's the number of days since I held her in my arms
Smelled her hair
War's he'll
You find yourself months on end
Sleeping in a hole with men that smell like rotten eggs
Drinking too much
Eating scraps
All I thought about was you
Our boy
Please forgive me for not coming back whole
The enemy took one arm
But left the other one so I could still hold you

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Meeting Place

Smoke, band, chattering glasses, expressive tongues, hands shaking
A man waits for me
My son is safely home with his father
Afternoon lunch with a friend is what I told him
The man pours me a drink
He shows me the key
Room 320
Let's go up. We don't have a lot of time
No
A $500.00 bottle of wine crashes to the floor



Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Winter Morning

Frozen lake
Children beg to skate on the ice
But we are here to work
Water is needed and the meat is gone
The lake, though frozen has fish
Tonight, we will feast

Monday, March 9, 2020

The Marking

If you should look for me
You'll find me by the marking
Today is the feast of the Epiphany
So I've marked the door
Please come find me, my love
I was so foolish to send you away
The ramblings of a selfish woman
Wanting things instead of love
Your heart was an immense treasure
But I wanted a piano
It wasn't in the budget
It is so cold, even by the fire
I yearn for you
Your heart, your gentleness
All those things
Those useless things,  all sold
Please come find me

Sunday, March 8, 2020

Request

The moon is overhead
And so are the stars
She strokes my hair
What is your prayer request tonight?
I don't know.
There must be something to ask God for
Of course there is
There's always something to ask for
Health for daddy
The war to end
A teaching job for the fall
I took a deep breadth
My Lord, please send me a husband.
She hugged me close
I'm not ready to let you go so soon

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Happy Death

So many things left undone
So many people I pushed aside
Now in this cold room I am about to expire
What will happen on the other side?
There is nothing left to do, but pray
So with barely a whisper,
I ask for St Joseph's intercession
Grant me a happy death

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Bridal House

There's an empty hook for your coat
A padded bench by the window
I know how you love to read
Fresh flowers on the table
A quilt made by my mother is folded on the bed
It isn't much
Only one room
But it's yours
Ours, my bride

Centerpiece

On a small desk by the window you will find a skull
No, it's not Halloween
But Memento Mori
No one escapes death
One must always be mindful
Mindful of death and the sins we carry







Wednesday, March 4, 2020

New Day

It wasn't much, a cheap cot by the window
but to me it was a bed meant for a king
A new day
A rebirth
For years the shackles were my only companion
At night we would discuss politics, family, ice cream, marriage, escape
We even prayed, the shackles and me
I had hope, while he wept
There was no escape for him
Yesterday I said goodbye to my friend
There was a border house on Ivy St
A job on Main
A priest on third
Everything lined up
So I slept righteously even with the storm overhead
My clothes don't smell fresh because they once belonged to a different man
A man with no honor who knew not faith, prayer, or hope
Now they belong to me


Monday, March 2, 2020

Lenten Dress

High heels, flimsy tops, and cashmere capes
Beautiful yet uncomfortable
For lent I decided to dress fashionably
The fabrics are being rescued from the moths
As I wear them to daily mass
While others file in for mass
Dressed in boots and down vests
I  can be seen in six inch heels and a tarten scarf
I shiver while praying
And offer this small, yet strange sacrifice to our Lord

Tears

Birds overhead
Honeysuckle in the air
Rain on pavement
Grey snow falling, falling so softly
Crimson has become our family's color
A beast holds me tight
I know not his tongue
My husband and child are leaving
Stopping them is not an option
I cannot follow
The beast holds me tighter
I don't know what to do
So I hold onto him
He kept making this sound
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Confession

What started off as a History lesson
Ended in a confession of love
I hide behind my hands
Does she not see the wrinkles on my face
In twenty years I will be an old man
My old body will give out on me
Abandonment will be my final act
My knees ache from all the praying
Is this what my Lord delivers
Anthony, Anthony, say something
Silence
Anthony
My tears tell her everything

Friday, February 28, 2020

Book of Psalms

Like a naughty child
I stole away to my room
Leather bound book of psalms in hand
Over and over I read the words of King David
I hear Jesus calling me with every passage
How shall I answer

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Mother

Instead of placing you in your crib
I held you
The soft muslin blanket draped over you
My sweet prince
I sang a soft lullaby
Your soft little body curled up to mine as you slept
I closed my eyes
Peace has found me

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Sackcloth

From dust you came and dust you shall return
I have been marked
Not as a holy being
But as a sinner in need of God's mercy
With my body still marked 
I remove my clean clothes
A sackcloth replaces it
On bended knees I weep

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Wedding Day Bombing

The white dress my mother made for me
Now is covered in soot
My husband with blood above his brow
Lays at the foot of the altar
Rumble blankets us
Husband and wife
Was this how it was in Pompeii
Rome
Constantinople
The rosary I gripped so tightly
Is now broken
Broken like me



Proposal

It was five degrees that day
With an open collar you came towards me
I was shivering so
Your embrace took me by surprise
Chaste though it was
Right there on the street we confessed our love
As the wind picked up we walked to a church
On bent knee he asked my heavenly father for my hand

The Joust

My love, my love how could this be?
This should have been an easy win
What seemed like a victory ended in defeat
The yellow rose you gave me fell
Time stopped for a second
The king's guard rushed you to a tent
Blood flowed
So much blood
As you faded from this world
I laid my head on your heart
Three gentle beats, my Lord allowed me to hear
Before closing your eyes

First Meeting

Trust
That's what I've always been told to do
At this moment trust doesn't exist
Only fear and worry
Heart racing
Shortness of breadth
He appears
The one chosen for me
He is a good man
I don't know this, but I feel this
He offers his hand
I accept
I trust