Sunday, October 22, 2017

Soothing Touch of Prayer

When I got the diagnosis I was mad as hell
I've got a three year old little girl who needs me
All the things I am going to miss flooded my mind
Months went by
I did the chemo
Got sick
Tried soothing my little girl by telling her, mama's okay
Everything's fine
She's smarter than that
My doctor suggested I go to support meetings
We ate animal crackers and talked about how horrible life was
Honestly, it was worse than the chemo
My neighbor gave me a rosary
Told me to pray it
I go to church on Sunday, but the rosary was something I never got into
But one day, I was praying the Sorrowful Mysteries and realized something extrordinary
My suffering wasn't a punishment from God, but a way to bring me closer to Him
Once I understood, my pain seemed lighter, more manageable
Each new day with my daughter is a blessing
And each tinge of pain brings me closer to my Savior

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Night in the Garden

Amber sky above a peaceful garden lined with the Stations of the Cross.
Tonight is about Our Lady
The sky continues to darken, candles are lit
Roses are placed before Our Lady a simple gift
A woman in white stands beside a statue of Our Lady of Fatima
Tonight we tell the story of the Fatima visions
Complete with three children dressed as Lucia, Jacinta, and Francesco
Everyone in that garden knows the story well
But it is a story and a message we need to hear again and again
The play is complete
The rosary, the real reason we are here begins
It is Friday, October 13, 2017,
The 100th anniversary of the day the sun danced in the sky
We pray the sorrowful mysteries and pray for the conversion of souls
May my poor soul be converted
Each decade ends with Ave Ave Ave Maria
A song I sang to my daughter at bed
At the end of Father's prayer the candles go out and solemnly we walk to our cars
The solemnityN confirms how our souls were touched this night

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Sweet Sorrow of Suffering

When I learned about suffering in the Second grade, I expected it
Waited for it
It seemed like it would never come
No illness
No broken bones
Happy marriage
Good job
I forgot about the mental/ emotional pain that could and will come with age
It happened in the doctor's office when I learned that the baby inside me had no chance of survival
My husband and I chose to keep the baby
Each night in bed, I read to him the books I loved as a child
He kicked and kicked with delight
The doctor's are wrong, I told myself
In the end they were right
John, my beloved son was born as the red leaves were falling
He lived for only a short while
The agony of letting him go was nearly unbearable
It's been twenty years and I can still fill him moving in my belly
I know that he is resting gently in Our Lady's arms
As I am nearing the end of my life,
I pray that I may hold him again.